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rivalry

Signs that your BFF is just so toxic

 

We truly love our BFFs, right? But when that time comes her presence is no longer a delight to be around, then that is when you have to question yourself “What is really happening in here?”

 

So, IS YOUR BFF A TOXIC KIND OF BES?

If you’re quite clueless about it, I’ll help you figure it out.

 

  • Your BFF is pessimistic.

Whenever you get into a problem, relationship, family or what, he/she constantly compares his/her experience about it, insisting that the outcome will be just the same. He might also conclude that whatever it is that you are suffering is your fault and that; you really can’t do something about it. Oh okay, so you’re saying apples and oranges are the same. What a support, bes.

 

  • If BFF is a bad listener.

I don’t get it when every time I’m telling how my day went you keep on interrupting me sharing yours like “hey, I had a better or worse day than you do. You must listen to this first.” Come on, if your BFF never give a **** listening or even letting you finish anything you say, GOODNESS! That is a red flag. Confront your beloved BFF before you lose your temper.

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  • If BFF keeps on judging all the people that you encounter.

First, you have to ask yourself or him\her directly if it makes sense judging them at all and for what purpose because if he/she was not able to give out a reasonable reason for it then that is clearly his/her habit. Let go of toxic humans.

 

  • If BFF can’t accept that they’re wrong.

We’re just humans so how come your own BFF couldn’t accept their mistakes. Obviously, this BFF always have to be right. This is disappointing because people like this sometimes even fight for their belief no matter how troublesome it brings as long as they have proven that they are right. Have you ever had an argument with your BFF because he/she keeps on insisting that you’re wrong and he’s right? (Or you guys were both wrong? Kidding.)

 

  • If BFF reacts poorly to criticism.

It is indeed a normal thing to be criticized especially when a person cares for you. This toxic BFF is not seeking for a healthier friendship but is only aiming for a shallow one where he/she gets all the praise and good reactions alone.

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  • They’re subtly (Or Not So Subtly) Competitive

For me, it is normal to have competitions with your BFF in terms of career and studies it is because rivalry (See: https://thestrayrussianblue.wordpress.com/2016/01/21/why-your-rival-plays-a-big-role-to-you/) motivates me to do my best and simply work harder than the usual. But once that rivalry or competition has resulted to envy, that’s a call to stop and create an open forum.

 

  • They’re Masters of the Put-Down.

“You look like an awful pig. Haha! No, I’m just kidding, girl!”

Cracking jokes on friendships are so mainstream and pretty normal that sometimes we no longer think whether they really mean it or not. You will only realize that there is a problem once it hurts you and he/she insists that it was a joke, making you feel like it was your fault if you got offended. It is an absolute red flag for your friendship because this BFF is obviously TOXIC.

 

There are reasons why this kind of people exists. It may vary but whatever it is, you have to work on keeping your friendship. Confront your BFF if you think he/she is being toxic and is beginning to be a burden in your life. I suggest you work on it as soon as possible because once toxic people get used to their attitude, it is nearly impossible for them to change and be enlightened.

WHY YOUR RIVAL PLAYS A BIG ROLE TO YOU?

 

“Rivalry isn’t hate; it is a partnership in disguise. If you want to give it your all and be your best, you need a rival. Without one you wouldn’t be your best, you wouldn’t give it your all. “- Anonymous

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A person who happened to be your competitor for the same objective or superiority in the same field of activity, the one you used to grin when you once get on top, that person they also used to compare you with and also the one you once wish to get lost is your biggest rival. Let me just ask, why does an individual keeps on competing? Or trying to be on top of one another?

Simple,  because both party strive for the win. Once you win, you get the attraction which is actually overwhelming and it flatters you, right? It really feels so great being the center of attraction, feels like it is your day in the sun.

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Then, what will happen next?

Your rival lost. You were able to get rid of him. You own the crown and at the same time, you got a lot of “friends” as I may call them. Everything will not be the same as what it was until things will just go back to normal from where you start the only thing that has really changed is your rival’s existence. He no longer competes with you. He finally surrendered and decided to just do things same as the people around you.

After a long time, you got tired of being the No.1. You no longer appreciate the praise that has being thrown to you. Once you got something done, you couldn’t say if you did a great job or you just simply done it without your effort. In other words, everything seems so melancholy.

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Just like the movie “Megamind”, Metroman as a hero and Megamind himself as a villain. Just an analogy they were partners but in an opposite way.

Megamind was able to win over Metroman not knowing to find out that it was actually Metroman’s choice to let Megamind win. Of course, in the villain’s side, finally getting the chance to win is the most precious moment of their entire life. So Megamind explored everything that even in his dreams he could never do. Run around the streets of Metro City late at night; throw a party at the City hall and even play with the citizen’s money (literally speaking here). It was so fun for Megamind.

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What he was doing became his routine and soon he found out that a villain without a hero is never a villain. Megamind needed someone to take the role of being his rival; he wanted to feel his purpose, a great villain of all time. That’s the time that he searched for a person as his subject who supposedly perfect to be a hero turned out to back fire him.

 

Hence, in our lives there is always a rival that would make you feel that enthusiasm for you to be able to do things at your best. It might be a friendly rivalry just for the both of you to avoid that boredom and lack of contentment towards any work or the other way around but at least you spiced up both your work habits.

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It doesn’t have to be a personal rivalry all the time that you have to dance on someone’s grave. A simple competition that would lead you to enthusiasm and having that thinking of being on top of one another would surely give out the best in you. It may not be that obvious but if you try to imagine things without rivalry, it may seem to be just fine yet you will soon realize that things gone bored that you do not want to exert more effort anymore. Just show your rival what you’ve got and everything will turn out to be just fine. At the end of the day, both of you will benefit to your competition.

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