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Chivalry in Love (A look back on Carlos ‘Charlie’ Ledesma and Susan Magalona story)

Before the popularity of this generation’s well-known amour, it was back in the 1950s when several yet truly unspoken love stories have first emerged. Have you ever heard about the story behind Carlos Ledesma and Susan Magalona’s marriage?

Well, we’re all aware that during those era, wealthy and prominent families have had execute fixed marriage for some reasons, it could probably be a way to secure each means, or to establish partisan between the families or maybe they just simply find their sons and daughter suitable for each other so they just decided for them to tie the knot. Whatever their reasons, there has never been anything good about it (Carlos and Susan) were just one of the unfortunate people who have been struck by this ill-tradition. It was actually only the legendary beauty during her time who was totally devastated by this decision.

susan magalona
photo credits to the owner.

The two was arranged married, it was said that Susan was even seen in tears while walking the aisle. So, as expected it has resulted to a loveless marriage bounded by unrequited love. Carlos and Susan have stayed together for around 7 or 8 years, it was then that Susan Magalona couldn’t take what she was living in anymore and calls for nullification of their marriage that Carlos Ledesma unhesitatingly permitted.

The church said (because as I have said, annulment has not been imposed on the Philippine executive orders back then) that the marriage will and only will be nullified, void if the marriage was not consummated. And so, test has been made to Susan Magalona proving that she has been a virgin from the day she got married up till the nullification of the marriage. Due to the earnest love of Carlos to Susan, the two remain in good terms.

Carlos and Conchita Arenas
Carlos Ledesma on his marriage with Conchita Arenas (photo credits to the owner).

Susan Magalona then married diplomat millionaire Federico Elizalde while Carlos Ledesma wedded Conchita Arenas, daughter of Vicente Arenas and Julieta Lopez.

 

The story of Carlos Ledesma and Susan Magalona has conveyed a very important message for every man, those people who have been in the midst of unrequited love, also those people who simply love someone that it is only when you want the best and happiness for that one person you love will give you the courage and strength to certainly let them go once their happiness is entirely not being with you. And I must say (because it should be said) that the portrayal of chivalry, of being a man by Carlos Ledesma is what men nowadays shall grandfathered in because as much as it seems unusual, men these days are actually getting far from what men were once used to be.

 

 

Most of what we think of as “love” is bullshit

Here’s how real love does and does not go.

 

“Young man, why are you eating that fish?”

“Because I love fish,” the young man answers.

“Oh, you love the fish. That’s why you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it. Don’t tell me you love the fish. You love yourself, and because the fish tastes good to you, therefore you took it out of the water and killed it and boiled it.”

So much of what we think is ‘love’ is really this.

 


Romantic Love

When I was breaking up with my boyfriend of five years, he responded with a heartfelt, “but I want to be with you!”

As though that makes sense as a rebuttal.

As though his needs alone were enough. As though saying that would somehow make me forget my own dissatisfaction, like “oh! well damn, aiight.” As though that was an appropriate, loving response.

I sighed. And then I asked him “why do you want to be with me?”

And he looked me in the eye and actually said to me, “because you’re beautiful.” Full stop.

And that’s how he broke my heart and confirmed my decision in about 1 second flat.

 


“Whenever someone tells me I’m beautiful, they’re telling me they love themselves. They’re telling me that they want to be around people and things that give them pleasure, and that my physical appearance gives them pleasure. But, they’re not telling me that they care about me.” — Emma Lindsay, Fish Love

 

So many women are ready and willing to accept “beautiful” as the highest compliment; embrace it as the pinnacle of their person. But it’s not.

That comment really says nothing about you.

“Finding someone beautiful is not love, it is self love. Because finding someone extremely pleasurable is not love, it is self love.”

 

I still struggle with what to do when being called “beautiful.” Most days (and it is most days, being a bartender) I can brush it off a little and laugh; I can accept this low level of discourse from someone across the bar, who doesn’t know me, never will, and, frankly, isn’t invited to; for whom I’m paid to be how they want to see me, “beautiful” included.

But part of me still bristles every time a partner or potential partner says this, especially because they always fucking list it first.

Every time it happens, the music stops for me a little, like: oh. yeah. that’s right.

I have to triage — either push through it; ask and look for other things; deliberately stack things in their favor regardless of their indiscretion; do the work and paint a prettier picture for us both… or pretend and look the other way.

Because “beautiful” is never, ever love. We romanticize this culturally, but we’re wrong.

“If you spend your life looking for love by trying to find someone who thinks you’re crazy beautiful, you won’t find love. If you spend your life trying to find someone you think is beautiful, you won’t find love.”

If someone thinks you are beautiful, but doesn’t care about your feelings or your reality — or, more specifically, if they prefer that your feelings and reality simply mirror their own or otherwise be uncomplicated for them — then they do not love you. They like you as fish.

Same goes for being liked for “security” or any number of other major features you may offer.

“If you believe you can be nourished by this kind of love, you will be disappointed.”


Parent-Child Love

Every time I break up with a boyfriend, I break my mother’s heart a little too.

And sure, it’s partly because she “just wants me to be with someone” (an inclination that we’re all so quick to chalk up as “love” when it isn’t, given that it directly usurps my own, actual life decisions) but mostly because: the woman just can’t fucking deal with change.

She gets to know someone and suddenly thinks I owe her their permanence in my life and hers. And when that ceases to be the case, she piles more emotion onto my breakup than I do, clinging to my exes and continuing to stay in touch with them (sometimes for years), occasionally turning to me and saying things like, “you messed up; you made a mistake.” Even when it was bullshit love and, knowing that, I’m better off without them. Mama, she don’t fuckin care.

My mother also hates it when I change jobs. She hated when I dropped my startup — because she just “liked telling people” I had my own business. Nevermind it wouldn’t scale and wasn’t what I wanted in the longterm.

How she fails to see that any of this is a far cry from real love astounds me. Maybe she just doesn’t care. That I can believe.

We think this sort of shit is okay — endearing even; “motherly” — simply because “all moms” think and act this way. But that’s just our societal (and, frankly, women’s “Feminine Mystique”-esque) insecurity speaking.

And it sure as fuck isn’t love.

I care for her, but I’m also pretty sure I tolerate this simply because I choose to honor my social obligation to.

I cannot heave
My heart into my mouth. I love you
According to my bond, no more nor less.

— Cordelia, King Lear

And I think she fails to realize how quickly I will cease to tolerate it the minute that scale tips in favor of “zero fucks.”

We think the parent-child relationship somehow saves love — maintains it in some pure form — but we’re often wrong. Every reason to have a child is fundamentally selfish or socially-construed, and everybody lives with this dynamic hanging over them from a parent.


Marriage

Is like the pinnacle of fish love. A wedding is the frying pan; all the years after, the plate. (Divorce and falling out, perhaps, the disposal.)

“I’m gonna make her my wife,” we say, and accept as the measure of romantic achievement.

Because we want to mark them as our own; want some legal binding to make this thing more like “forever.” God forbid they continue to roam the earth as an individual, with no legal obligation not to stray. God forbid we love them as their own person without a sense of ownership or agency over them.

With our goal first being marriage, and the person only being the means. Or with another person being the object of our desire, and marriage being the vehicle through which to get that shit on lock down. And sure, it isn’t always the case — I know there are people tightly tethered to their own True Love Story, who will get defensive about the Real Romance that they have, and that’s fucking fine. But, outside of you two Genuine Lovebirds, this shit is often fish.


Self-love

It’s not that self-love is wrong. In fact, genuine love requires you to first love yourself. The problem is that too many of us don’t self-love using ourselves, and we instead use other human beings to achieve it.

And the even bigger problem is that that’s the only way so many of us seem to know how to interact, and it’s perpetuated by what we see from other people, media, and society.

So often we approach other living and breathing human beings looking to reduce them to a set of characteristics; pick and choose how to see them and collect from them what makes us feel good and keep us company on a Friday night.

Love is care, not consumption. It is about first loving yourself; having a whole existence with enough sustenance that you do not need to pull love off of those around you.

And when we finally direct our attention at others, love is about give and not take.


Love is not a feeling. Love is an act.

We’ve all heard this and some of us even believe it, and yet when we’re asked why we love our beloved, we continue to dumbly reply: “because she/he is___.”

i.e., we love them because of what they represent for us — and provide.

But good love has nothing to do with what they are or what we harvest from them. Good love is the way in which we love them — it’s us loving their very being, us loving their essence, us loving their ups and downs and imperfections and dumb complaints and irritations and short-comings and differences, for fucks sake, us loving their decisions — each day.

We fail to realize that the answer to “why?”, in true love, is something more like “because I choose to.”

And that the bigger question in love is more like “how” we’ll love as an act so hard and fast and deep, and less about “to whom” or “why.”

 

See original: https://medium.com/@o1022611/most-of-what-we-think-of-as-love-is-bullshit-a745b3b999a

I so love this article. Often times we mistakenly thought of LOVE as something very ideal, perfect but truth to fact, LOVE is one of a kind. Love is unconditional.

45 Things That Might Help You Be A Better Human

A short list of ways to improve your life and maybe even the lives of others.

ctto.

I’ve started a (nearly) annual tradition of writing about things I’ve learned or observed about life on my birthday (I try to write as many things as my age, so yeah, I’m 45). I don’t write these because I’ve mastered life or am an expert on anything, but mainly as a reminder and challenge to myself that I need to grow and learn and change.

Hopefully you’ll find something interesting, amusing, or even helpful for your life.

  1. Actively put limits on yourself. Try not saying more than 100 words in a day. Wake up in the morning 10 minutes earlier every day for a week.
  2. When you find yourself feeling angry when speaking with someone, shut up and just listen.
  3. When you encounter a new thought or idea, accept it as truth for 24 hours. Not because you’ll eventually believe it but because it’ll change your perspectives and allow you to understand others (and I lied, sometimes it will change your beliefs).
  4. Take one of your existing beliefs (or assumptions) and question it’s validity. Read about opposing views. You will get defensive, even angry. Do your best to suppress your desire to attack. This is almost the same as above. Together, this is the only way to adapt, grow, and evolve what you understand and believe about yourself, others, and the world.
  5. Constantly experience life as if you’re searching for a moment to photograph.
  6. Don’t become so consumed by your career, or family, or hobbies that you neglect personal relationships because one day when your kids are grown and you’ve moved away and your career is over, you’ll find yourself old and alone and regretting that you didn’t purposefully invest more time into your friendships.
  7. Create an alternate reality version of yourself where a major milestone in your life that didn’t happen. How would your life be different? Would it be better or worse?
  8. Try communicating for a day using only emojis.
  9. Spend a day sending notes (via Facebook or Twitter or Snapchat or email or even a letter) purposefully and specifically praising those who are important to your life (at least once a year).
  10. Invest in some non-traditional socks — the uglier and crazier the better.
  11. Make a playlist of songs from your childhood. Mine would include “Baby Elephant Walk” — I can vividly remember dancing around in our living room, moving the coffee table out of the way, and pacing the floor with my body bent down, holding my arms together as they dangled in the air like a trunk — more Barry Manilow than I care to admit, and “Little Nash Rambler”.
  12. Find some puppies and let them devour you in their furious furry love.
  13. Every year (on your birthday, since it’s an easy date to remember, hopefully) go through all the things you own and donate anything that you haven’t worn or used in that entire year (I also highly suggest you do this with your kids and their toys).
  14. Support whatever you believe in, whether financially or volunteering.
  15. Find somewhere that makes you happy and peaceful — that doesn’t cost money, that you can get to quickly and easily, and where no one you know will interrupt you — and just sit in silence for 15 minutes (for me, it’s on the banks of the Ohio in downtown Cincinnati when I get to work in the morning).
  16. Play laser tag (mostly because it’s really fun to shoot kids — oh you know what I mean).
  17. Find an interesting topic and try and learn as much as you can about it in 60 minutes (it’s why the internet exists!), like rubber bands, switchblade combs, vinyl records, or those three-legged, small, table-like contraptions they put in the middle of pizza so the boxes don’t crush into your food.
  18. Buy a headlamp. They’re cheap and you’ll be amazed at how often you’ll need to see in the dark while also having both hands free.
  19. For fun, think about a name you wouldn’t mind changing to. But take it seriously (would you really want to be called Chavez Dumplings? That’s for me, because that’s a stupid online alias I used to have). Would you be different than you are now?
  20. Buy two pairs of your favorite shoes (because there is no guarantee that they will always exist).
  21. Find a simple, non-linear (meaning something you can stop and start at any time) game that you can play or do as a family while eating dinner. For us, it is (was) Akinator.
  22. Go to a movie alone. Get your favorite movie foods. Preferably a movie that you really want to see but would be ashamed to admit.
  23. Collect something (preferably inexpensive), perhaps enamel pins, interesting coffee mugs, branded coasters, or velvet clown paintings. I collect well-designed playing cards.
  24. Ask yourself “is this the most important thing I can be doing right now?”
  25. Visit a local art museum. Find a painting you love. Observe it for 10 minutes. Every year go back to that same painting for the same amount of time and try to find something new.
  26. If you feel stuck on a problem or a thought or a fear, get some crayons and color in a coloring book, or work a challenging puzzle, or play Solitaire. Engage your mind in something completely, and you’ll find that a solution for a problem will surface, your anxiety will vanish, and you fear will dissipate.
  27. Get a tattoo. Find a local tattoo artist whose work (and style) you love. Tell them about who you are — where you’re from, what you do, who you love, etc — and let them create something for you.
  28. There is no tomorrow. You will never reach the horizon. Don’t live for the unknown and unknowable.
  29. For the love of God if you’re not listening to podcasts, then start. There are so many amazing podcasts. When you find a favorite, write to them and tell them you love what they do.
  30. If you aren’t intrigued by a book by the first chapter, stop reading.
  31. Get a favorite hat. Mine is this one made from Wire And Twine (hat by Legacy Athletic, so so so comfortable). Why? Because everyone needs a comfort blanket.
  32. Learn a curse word in a foreign language.
  33. Practice finding positive attributes in people you really (really) dislike. This doesn’t mean you will suddenly like, tolerate, or forgive them, but it will help assuage your hate (and hurt).
  34. Learn one new fact a day. This is a great place to start or here or here. For example, today I learned about this.
  35. Whenever you find yourself wanting to skip a minor action — like hanging up a towel, putting socks in a drawer, putting dishes into a dishwasher, cleaning up that spill — take the extra few seconds it would take to do it and do it.
  36. Slow down. Always. The flow of life traffic will tempt you to keep up and before you know it, everything is going by in a blur.
  37. Always keep a package of bandaids, a stain remover pen, and a spare shirt and pants somewhere quickly accessible. You never know when you’ll be eating lo mein that splatters over all your shirt.
  38. Learn something new about your parent(s) while you can.
  39. Find a new way to say something you’re feeling. Rather than saying “I’m furious” say “I’m filled with the bubbling rage of a cat wearing a sweater” or instead of saying “No thank you” say “I’d rather bathe in a tub full of bacon grease”.
  40. Stop watching the news. Substitute that time with reading. Or eating. Or even just looking out the window at that one squirrel who seems to have lost his mind. There are so many things better than watching TV news.
  41. Allow auto-complete to write your sentences. I’m now about ethics at half year things — that was me trying to type “it’s not as easy as you’d think”.
  42. Eat a vegetable you don’t like once a week for a year. Prepare it in different ways. I guarantee by the end of the year you will like that vegetable (like how I love Brussels sprouts to the point of obsession).
  43. Watch and listen. Wherever you are — at home, in a mall, at Costco, on the street — stop for just a few minutes and observe people in what they do and say and act (obviously don’t be creepy about, don’t ask for an autograph or inject yourself into their conversation or start clapping).
  44. If you have appliance that breaks, see if you can repair it yourself. For example, the ice maker in our refrigerator broke, so I researched the brand on YouTube, watched several repair videos, found the part online and replaced it myself. It’s an amazing feeling. I know it’s meaningless, but in a world where everything is a hidden disaster solving even the most insignificant problems is fulfilling (and therefore meaningful).
  45. Challenge yourself to write a list of things you’ve learned about life based on your age (I’m kidding, don’t do it, it’s nearly impossible).

I find this a helpful post, whenever I found one I always want it to share to my lovely readers. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I do. Check out the original post here:  https://medium.com/@wiseacre/45-things-that-might-help-you-be-a-better-human-875ace9c5b16

Forgetting Mr. I thought — Right Thoughts on Moving On

I thought you were the sun in my desolated world, brighten my days no matter how hard you know it’ll be, the dew drops in my favorite flowers every morning making it more pleasant to my sight…

That day when you came, I began to believe in forever. I didn’t give a shit with all the people who claimed that there isn’t for I know they’re simply a group of bitter and who knows, loveless humans. I have believed in love because of who you are when you’re with me, that I’m just me when I’m with you. You accepted my entirety, whom I thought will be hard for any body. Ever since we started dating I could feel something odd between us but I didn’t mind it. You know I didn’t because I care about us, our relationship matters to me that much as if for me it’s perfect. I didn’t mind my instincts. You know I’m an overthinker but I didn’t see any adjustments from you, your words that are way insensitive and your time that I’m afraid you don’t know how to manage slowly drifting you away from me.

I was your buddy, in those tiny hopes, I wish I was, your №1 fan, your cheerleader, your motivator and your inspiration in all the things you do. Do you think I am? Have we shared the same thoughts? Or it’s just me who thought of it all. We are in- love, I know in the deepest part of my mind, in my shallow heart…

We are and now we were.

I keep on believing that ‘us’ would work

For I thought it was you all along, that belief is truly flawed, a mistake.

Have you ever felt like being neglected?

Like when we were supposed to be enjoying our day but there you are, doing your thing as if I’m a piece of disturbance.

Am I?

I feel like a child asking for attention — No, sometimes, I feel like begging for ‘your’ attention.

“I don’t deserve this”, I thought to myself. “I deserve better than this.”, but then, there’s a part of me saying,” Yes, I don’t deserve this but d*mn for you I won’t mind it.”

I’ve had enough, I finally come to realize that I really deserve so much better than what we are.

My mother once said, “Whatever reasons it may be, a man will stay if he truly is in love.”

Silly.

Because you stayed, ‘You’ stayed.

Not your heart that’s capable of loving…me.

From this day on, mark my words.

You won’t hear a thing from me. PM’s, DM’s nor texts, anything. You won’t see my name on your notifications for I would no longer hit that LIKE button to support you from whatever it is that you work on. Child-like, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter, it’s my simple way to let you know I’m moving on and I’m trying to get over you.

With all my strength, I’ll dispose all the stuffs you gave me. Your calligraphy that I have loved and admired so much the first time I saw it and luckily you’ve given to me…everything. It’ll be hard, yes. But I can assure you I can. You can expect to see precious tears running down my cheeks because I hardly believe there will be. No worries, I can handle myself unlike you who doesn’t even try to scrutinize my being to understand how to handle someone like me.

I wish I could just travel through time so I would know how ‘us’ will end up.

I wish I’m just like you who could easily give up and turn back from us.

How I wish this has never happened but for some reasons, I am quite grateful because you didn’t left with nothing.

You taught me…

Not to love much as long as I felt that the feeling is mutual. You taught me to beware and be aware of unrequited love.

You were supposed to be my Mr. Right because somehow you made it right. Now, it turned out you were just one of those Mr. I thought — Right who only shows love and affection in the beginning but will never be till the end. I will get over you. Not today, probably tomorrow or maybe till our eyes meet, again.

“I don’t know what to say,” he said.

“It’s okay,” she replied.

“I know what we are — and I know what we’re not.” The End, Lang Leav

 

This blog is originally posted on medium.com, visit the profile: https://medium.com/ceeart/forgetting-mr-i-thought-right-aad16add857d

 

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) — When you’re looking for love, most consider common ground a good place to start. “You have to have the same morals, and the same values,” said Leslie from Philadelphia. Fellow Philly resident Christina told Eyewitness News, “You got to like the same type of food, actors, movies.” Yvette Williams of the Northeast…

via The App That Finds You Love Based On What You Hate — CBS Philly

Men’s guidelines to end their girlfriends Valentine’s Day in seventh heaven

 

 

No more than two weeks before Saint Valentine’s Day. Some men already have plans how to make that day unforgettable and special (at least for them) and also there were some who until now clueless of how are they going to celebrate this so-called lover’s day (because people usually celebrate it with their partner) with their girlfriends. Just in case, you’re one of those men who haven’t planned anything yet this guidelines to wrap-up her Valentine’s will, I think, help you figure out what would be the perfect date or To-do for your girlfriend consider the coming Valentine’s day UNFORGETTABLE.

 

So here it goes.

 

First of all, we both know there are different types of women in this world: the chic, the geeky-woman, the one-of the-boys, the conservative type…just to name a few. If you’re following my site, you are probably familiar with my blog “What other people think on a boyish chic?” from there, I mention the types of women not to mention the blog really focus only to what are those boyish chic. Who are they, what they do and what they feel towards people who bad-mouthed them due to misinterpretations. https://thestrayrussianblue.wordpress.com/2016/01/15/what-other-people-think-on-a-boyish-chic/

date1

  •  Walking, strolling on a park enjoying the beautiful and captivating scenery of nature around you would be the perfect Valentine’s date for your nature-lover girlfriend. Simply because this type of women appreciate the beauty of her surroundings just as how she appreciates your presence. If you’re going to ask me between day and night of roaming around the park, I prefer during the night not only because I am not used to bunch of people but also because I do not like the brightness of sun.

for movie watching cinemas.png

  • Watch all the hot and trending showing movies in cinemas talk about Fifty shades Darker, everybody’s waiting for that controversial movie and surely you’re movie enthusiast girlfriend will enjoy it, knows all the movies to watch on that day and if you’re lucky, she’ll be the one to choose it for you and you’ll never have to worry choosing which of them she’ll like.

Want some suggestions? John Wick, The Space Between Us, Havenhurst, The Lego Batman, The Great Wall…

date3

  • A day of food-trip. Oh yes! Food! , says your foodie girlfriend. It is not that she’s a glutton maybe she just adores food that much. Obviously, a date with all the food that you’ve been longing to taste around you is the best Valentine’s date ever for a food-lover lady. Surely you won’t be surprise if you get yourself broke just for a day. It’s good to have back-ups, right?

date4

  • Valentine’s Day filled with extreme adventures is what your fearless and outgoing girlfriend would definitely enjoy. Let her try the next levels of zip lines, bungee jumping, sky diving or maybe go hiking as well, end your date night pampering yourselves on a spa to relax.  Why not try the wine bath at Aire Ancient Baths in New York City (I just saw this featured on Insider travel)

Couple browsing in a bookstore in Prenzlauer Berg in Berlin Germany. Image shot 08/2009. Exact date unknown.

  • A stroll to book museums bounded by collections of classics and modern books, miniatures and exhibits matches your geek and artistic girlfriend who appreciates arts and literature of all ages. It doesn’t matter if you do not feel the same (because I could sense a little violent reaction from men out there) by just keeping yourself occupied through exploring the place, checking out the pieces would surely eliminate your mind from being uninterested to the place. Look at your girl; if she enjoys it, aren’t you supposed to feel the same? Don’t forget to buy her a new book before the date ends!

date-for-gaming-couple

  • Stay-cation: movie marathon, games enjoying your Xbox or Playstation, eating whatever you both feels to buy, a simple and gamer girlfriend will surely mark the coming Valentine’s day fun and already special most especially if you let her win in all the games that you’re going to play. (Silly.) But seriously, gamers love to play all the games it doesn’t even matter if it decades old if it is still fun to play, they will play it. So if you wanted to make your girl exuberant and glad make sure to buy a new game earlier by now, you never know how much it’ll surprise her especially if you get to buy those that would squeeze her enthusiasm so much.

 

And lastly,

make up.jpg

 

  • A collection of new make-up kits: lippies, the limited edition mascara or whatsoever, the widespread black mask that could remove her white heads… etc. will absolutely make your beauty-conscious girlfriend’s heart leaps. She takes care of her looks very much that she always wanted to look good in front of you. So when the time that you’ll buy her those that I’ve mentioned, she will probably thinks you appreciate her effort for that and I surely think you guys really do.

 

There you go the guidelines in making your girl perfectly fine this coming Valentine’s Day. I hope you get to take ideas from it if not, then you’re completely in trouble because YOU ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME TO PREPARE!

I always love this quotation saying that once a person loves you, all the imperfections of him/her will all become beautiful. At the end of day, no matter how much time you consumed or the efforts that you exerts just to make that day special, little or not, your girl will surely appreciate it because it’s you who made it. I’m pretty sure she’ll do the same effort to make you happy on that day. Just appreciate her as well.

 

Good luck!

This Is How A Strong Woman Loves — Thought Catalog

Jesse HerzogHer guileless eyes draw you in like nothing you have experienced before. When she speaks, her voice reminds you of calming and sweet melodies. She flashes you her dazzling and warm smile and you are unable to look away. But don’t underestimate her. She is not a delicate flower to be admired for her…

via This Is How A Strong Woman Loves — Thought Catalog

The Good Points of being Single

 

Let say for example, you are in a relationship as of NOW. You feel loved and cared of. You feel the intensity of affection as you two get along together for long time. You are being thought about. You can have whatever you need, sometimes. You have shoulders to lean on. You have your best friend/boyfriend. It feels good, right?

 

But have you ever thought of reverting back to the time when you were just alone, enjoying your own time doing the things that no one would care or no one will be worried? That time when the only person that could hurt you is just yourself alone. The only thing that you will cry about is when you have nothing to eat.

Let me ask you, haven’t you missed being single?

 

I have seen this quote saying “Single is not a status, it is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.” I agree to this one. Why wouldn’t I do so? It actually lifts up the self-esteem of single people to be happy and stand alone. Recently, I was on a bus going somewhere just to stroll and enjoy myself when I suddenly thought of these perks and good points of being single. I would gladly share it all. You might realize certain things as well. Who knows?

 

  • You can play anytime and anywhere you would want to. Literally speaking here, for gamer like me I always find time to play my favorite video game so every time I think about getting into relationship, I always think that it might get ruined. Don’t get me wrong here. There are different types of guys. What if I got the “Kill joy” type? How will I focus on my games? And not only that, boyfriends tend to be worried at all times. Yes, there were some. I have this habit of playing my mobile games anywhere I’m at like on a bus, at parks and the likes. So if he’ll continue to ask how I am, I might lose the mood of playing my games. (Note: What I am stating here is my own situation. Sure, we’re not the same. And please, do not say it’s a childish thinking because to let you know, there were some out there who shared the same perception like mine.) Generally, it’s like if you are single. you are free.

 

  • Less expense – Why not when it’s just yourself that you need to spend your money on. Let’s be real. People in a relationship tend to spend more than those single people. Why? Think about the birthdays of each other. “Oh it’s your mom’s birthday, what to buy?” “Oh your dad is celebrating his 60th birthday, what something special should I buy him?” Did you guys get my point here? Once you got in a relationship, you stop putting yourself first you must consider your significant other’s side as well. Although, some will say, “But they were not asking for a gift, why bother to give something?” Nope, that will surely make your name starts to fade to your guy’s family. And we all know we hate that. So yes, if you are single, you have the higher chances to save more unless you’re such a glutton or materialistic. Beep~

 

  • NO worries about your significant other’s absence. Oh come on, people in a relationship is so guilty to this one. “Why is he not texting back?” “Seen??!” “He’s with his friends. Is there any girls there?” Stressful, isn’t it (I’m not trying to boycott people in a relationship. I’m stating a fact here, okay?) But face it; single people don’t deal with that.

 

  • Zero scrutiny on social media sites.”I accidentally searched my ex. Had to delete this one.” “Is there any way to delete my activity log? Babe will surely be pissed off.” Yup, every partner thinks at some point like that. You even have to delete your browser history due to malicious contents. With single people, that aren’t an issue, I mean there’s no issue about that.

 

  • Unexpected migration to a certain city, job opportunities and any other life altering decisions won’t be so hard. There will be no dramatic farewell to your boy/girlfriends because you think of what’s going to happen, the effects and how will it went. People in a relationship are simply having a hard time to be away from their partners because of two things: trust issues and changes. That’s self-explanatory, you know them to yourself. Now with single people, these are just easy to decide because all you need to deal with when it comes to those matters are your parents alone or maybe your friends.

 

 

There you have it the perks and good points of being single. Again, all of these things are for singles alone. In a relationship people might think about it as well. This is really nothing to do with break-ups. Independence could be gain also by someone staying at your side as long as you know for yourself that he/she is helping you to grow and not pampering you till you didn’t know how to stand alone.

 

Cheers to all single ladies and gentlemen. You guys are free to live on your own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My mind is my secret, My words are my soul, My fear is a teardrop, My guilt is untold. Your face is my vision, Your voice is my sail, Your sex is remission, Your joy beyond pale. Our love will be legend, Our touch will divest, Our fate is to transcend, Our memory blessed. This […]

via May Love Recompose Us — Kosmogonic

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