We truly love our BFFs, right? But when that time comes her presence is no longer a delight to be around, then that is when you have to question yourself “What is really happening in here?”
So, IS YOUR BFF A TOXIC KIND OF BES?
If you’re quite clueless about it, I’ll help you figure it out.
- Your BFF is pessimistic.
Whenever you get into a problem, relationship, family or what, he/she constantly compares his/her experience about it, insisting that the outcome will be just the same. He might also conclude that whatever it is that you are suffering is your fault and that; you really can’t do something about it. Oh okay, so you’re saying apples and oranges are the same. What a support, bes.
- If BFF is a bad listener.
I don’t get it when every time I’m telling how my day went you keep on interrupting me sharing yours like “hey, I had a better or worse day than you do. You must listen to this first.” Come on, if your BFF never give a **** listening or even letting you finish anything you say, GOODNESS! That is a red flag. Confront your beloved BFF before you lose your temper.
- If BFF keeps on judging all the people that you encounter.
First, you have to ask yourself or him\her directly if it makes sense judging them at all and for what purpose because if he/she was not able to give out a reasonable reason for it then that is clearly his/her habit. Let go of toxic humans.
- If BFF can’t accept that they’re wrong.
We’re just humans so how come your own BFF couldn’t accept their mistakes. Obviously, this BFF always have to be right. This is disappointing because people like this sometimes even fight for their belief no matter how troublesome it brings as long as they have proven that they are right. Have you ever had an argument with your BFF because he/she keeps on insisting that you’re wrong and he’s right? (Or you guys were both wrong? Kidding.)
- If BFF reacts poorly to criticism.
It is indeed a normal thing to be criticized especially when a person cares for you. This toxic BFF is not seeking for a healthier friendship but is only aiming for a shallow one where he/she gets all the praise and good reactions alone.
- They’re subtly (Or Not So Subtly) Competitive
For me, it is normal to have competitions with your BFF in terms of career and studies it is because rivalry (See: https://thestrayrussianblue.wordpress.com/2016/01/21/why-your-rival-plays-a-big-role-to-you/) motivates me to do my best and simply work harder than the usual. But once that rivalry or competition has resulted to envy, that’s a call to stop and create an open forum.
- They’re Masters of the Put-Down.
“You look like an awful pig. Haha! No, I’m just kidding, girl!”
Cracking jokes on friendships are so mainstream and pretty normal that sometimes we no longer think whether they really mean it or not. You will only realize that there is a problem once it hurts you and he/she insists that it was a joke, making you feel like it was your fault if you got offended. It is an absolute red flag for your friendship because this BFF is obviously TOXIC.
There are reasons why this kind of people exists. It may vary but whatever it is, you have to work on keeping your friendship. Confront your BFF if you think he/she is being toxic and is beginning to be a burden in your life. I suggest you work on it as soon as possible because once toxic people get used to their attitude, it is nearly impossible for them to change and be enlightened.