I thought you were the sun in my desolated world, brighten my days no matter how hard you know it’ll be, the dew drops in my favorite flowers every morning making it more pleasant to my sight…

That day when you came, I began to believe in forever. I didn’t give a shit with all the people who claimed that there isn’t for I know they’re simply a group of bitter and who knows, loveless humans. I have believed in love because of who you are when you’re with me, that I’m just me when I’m with you. You accepted my entirety, whom I thought will be hard for any body. Ever since we started dating I could feel something odd between us but I didn’t mind it. You know I didn’t because I care about us, our relationship matters to me that much as if for me it’s perfect. I didn’t mind my instincts. You know I’m an overthinker but I didn’t see any adjustments from you, your words that are way insensitive and your time that I’m afraid you don’t know how to manage slowly drifting you away from me.

I was your buddy, in those tiny hopes, I wish I was, your №1 fan, your cheerleader, your motivator and your inspiration in all the things you do. Do you think I am? Have we shared the same thoughts? Or it’s just me who thought of it all. We are in- love, I know in the deepest part of my mind, in my shallow heart…

We are and now we were.

I keep on believing that ‘us’ would work

For I thought it was you all along, that belief is truly flawed, a mistake.

Have you ever felt like being neglected?

Like when we were supposed to be enjoying our day but there you are, doing your thing as if I’m a piece of disturbance.

Am I?

I feel like a child asking for attention — No, sometimes, I feel like begging for ‘your’ attention.

“I don’t deserve this”, I thought to myself. “I deserve better than this.”, but then, there’s a part of me saying,” Yes, I don’t deserve this but d*mn for you I won’t mind it.”

I’ve had enough, I finally come to realize that I really deserve so much better than what we are.

My mother once said, “Whatever reasons it may be, a man will stay if he truly is in love.”

Silly.

Because you stayed, ‘You’ stayed.

Not your heart that’s capable of loving…me.

From this day on, mark my words.

You won’t hear a thing from me. PM’s, DM’s nor texts, anything. You won’t see my name on your notifications for I would no longer hit that LIKE button to support you from whatever it is that you work on. Child-like, isn’t it? It doesn’t matter, it’s my simple way to let you know I’m moving on and I’m trying to get over you.

With all my strength, I’ll dispose all the stuffs you gave me. Your calligraphy that I have loved and admired so much the first time I saw it and luckily you’ve given to me…everything. It’ll be hard, yes. But I can assure you I can. You can expect to see precious tears running down my cheeks because I hardly believe there will be. No worries, I can handle myself unlike you who doesn’t even try to scrutinize my being to understand how to handle someone like me.

I wish I could just travel through time so I would know how ‘us’ will end up.

I wish I’m just like you who could easily give up and turn back from us.

How I wish this has never happened but for some reasons, I am quite grateful because you didn’t left with nothing.

You taught me…

Not to love much as long as I felt that the feeling is mutual. You taught me to beware and be aware of unrequited love.

You were supposed to be my Mr. Right because somehow you made it right. Now, it turned out you were just one of those Mr. I thought — Right who only shows love and affection in the beginning but will never be till the end. I will get over you. Not today, probably tomorrow or maybe till our eyes meet, again.

“I don’t know what to say,” he said.

“It’s okay,” she replied.

“I know what we are — and I know what we’re not.” The End, Lang Leav

 

This blog is originally posted on medium.com, visit the profile: https://medium.com/ceeart/forgetting-mr-i-thought-right-aad16add857d

 

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