Have you ever feel like being uneasy every time you’re surrounded by the crowd whether in a party or in your workplace, also in any situation where you feel like you don’t know what to do or say? Are you afraid of rejection and disapproval? If that’s so, then we shared the same condition.
As defined by Psychology Today, Social Anxiety Disorder or social phobia is an anxiety disorder characterized by overwhelming anxiety and excessive self-consciousness in everyday social situations. People with social phobia have a persistent, intense, and chronic fear of being watched and judged by others and of being embarrassed or humiliated by their own actions. Their fear may be so severe that it interferes with work, school, or other activities. And you know the horrid part of this anxiety disorder? — Overthinking.
Yes, once several “What Ifs” clogged your mind during a social situation…
- What if no one talks to me?
- What if they find me ugly?
- What if I don’t really belong here?
- What if I have nothing to say?
- What if I’ll get rejected?
…it is proven that you are overthinking.
I mentioned earlier that I am also suffering from this disorder and that I think I probably need help. I took up an anxiety test, got my results and was able to get connected with one of their therapist through emails. She emailed videos and notes that would help me to start my recovery and totally eradicate my anxiety. There were times that I did follow them but there were also times that I wasn’t able to do so because of some reasons: work, hectic schedules and the likes. One of the things that she shared to me (By the way, her name is Rachel Ramos) recently is the Ten Commandments of Social Anxiety wherein she wanted to encourage not only me but everyone to open your mouth because life gets easier and more fun when you do and right, I believe things started in a simple small talk but with us, people suffering in anxiety, this isn’t an easy thing. Just thinking about it made us cringe. Furthermore, Rachel also mentioned that “The people you brush past every day are not your enemies, nor are they your judges or critics. They are potential friends, lovers, collaborators, teachers, or employers who you are missing out on because of your anxiety.” Thus I gain the motivation to at least try not to be uncertain and overthink.
Now, here are the Ten Commandments to stop overthinking social situations. Rachel made a pretentious title to it so people could take them seriously.
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS TO STOP OVERTHINKING IN SOCIAL SITUATIONS
I. No one is watching you approach and judging you for it. They are just as worried about being judged and criticized as you are.
II. Don’t worry if you’re shy or nervous when approaching; people will be nicer to you because of it.
III. Let go of your outcome. If you want nothing out of the interaction other than to speak to someone else, you have a 100 percent chance of succeeding as soon as you utter something.
IV. A rejection is not a comment on who you are as a person. It is simply feedback on something you did.
V. Instead of being outcome dependent, be learning dependent.
VI. No one will say anything as insulting, mean, and cruel about you as the things you tell yourself.
VII. Know that wherever you go, you are accepted. And if you don’t know it yet, then act as if it’s true until experience proves it.
VIII. More people than you could possibly imagine are looking to meet someone just like you.
IX. The only failure is not approaching. Because the pain and disappointment of letting yourself down is much greater than anything someone else can say.
X. And, finally…life is more fun when you open your mouth!
No matter how sucks social anxiety is, always remember that it is a treatable condition. You don’t have to forever feel the same the way. If you really wanted to recuperate, of course, you need to help yourself to be able to recover. Do not sulk into things that bother you a lot instead think of something that would hinder you from doing so.
Cheer up and live well.
© to the owner of the comic.