Do you ever feel that temper of yours coming to its end like how your thermometer exceeds its temperature on its highest level? How about that feeling when you couldn’t do a thing about it but to simply think on how many times you’ve killed that certain individual in your mind? By just thinking of it, the memories or shall I call them the days of all the list of people who annoyed and keep on annoying me has started to playback and it’s getting on my nerves.
I have this certain attitude wherein I cannot talk to a particular person properly if once I felt that I am not really comfortable with it. Though how many times I was with that person, if there were a time that it is just the two of us, I expect myself not having any conversation and the rest of the minutes and seconds are simply AWKWARD.
Alright, let’s cut the chase. I actually have this annoyance turned into pissed-off in a certain person who never fails to ruin my supposed to be wonderful day without her knowing it. Yes, it’s a she. My day wouldn’t be complete without hearing her voice, and take note, she talks in her normal phase but hearing it sounds like she’s yelling. Just imagine my situation every day; my workplace is just inches away from hers. I am also a writer just like what I’m doing right now which means I need silence and focus. I couldn’t find that concentration I need. What would I do then? Transfer to a different workplace? And then if I were to transfer in a workplace that I prefer (which is on the corner away from her office, away from the manager’s sight as well if he’s in) she’ll have this doubt on what I’m doing as if I don’t even know what I AM supposed to do. So here, I’m starting to teach myself to get used to her because she’s one of my colleagues. It may seem to be sort of usual to some people but here’s the thing.
Why do we need to adjust ourselves in order to cope with these annoying people’s attitude? Can’t they see themselves? Hear? Aren’t they thinking, they’re getting on someone’s nerve? I mean, we pissed-off people were not acting out like a brat. It is because of the people around us, those who doesn’t care a thing. We are not saints to be good all the time and have an unlimited patience and understanding towards their acts. I do not talk a lot for I always have these thoughts on what the others may think on me. I’m just not like that. Same thing when my patience is at its peak. I do not brag about this thing to anyone. My only purpose of writing this one out is the reason of being a writer, for me, writing is the best way to express your emotions. And I am absolutely expressing my emotions. I am pissed-off yet it is okay and I disliked myself for feeling that way. I’m annoyed most of the time by the people around me but I don’t know, I simply laugh with them, paint my signature faint smile and Voilà! They think they’re funny enough and think it is okay.
Am I supposed to call myself a hypocrite, the great pretender who seems to picture out things that were not fine into okay? I just don’t ever want a scene, an issue or what around me. So though I’m totally pissed-off, I always thought myself to calm down and let the stupid dogs bark. Right now, my only hope for these annoying people who doesn’t care a thing around them is to learn to observe their self especially when they did over-react on many things. I actually had this observation with myself, on my behavior. I act normal (the “Me” who doesn’t have a good social life) when I do not talk a lot and when people doesn’t care to me. That is me. On the contrary, I act stupid like I just turned into someone extroverted as a party hippie if and when I talks and enjoys the day so much like when that certain individual I mentioned was not in. I was very energetic. I mean, I am energetic though I do not talk too much. It was different if it is the other way around. That is not so me.
That’s where I found my hope for those annoying people. Learn to observe their self. If your main purpose to your actions is to build a good impression of yourself, you don’t have to always put your best foot forward pointing out your greatest achievement and possessions because most of the time, it backfires.
I know I pissed-off people sometimes. I do not have a stock of anesthesia for me to inject it to myself and feel nothing. Of course, I can feel them. I sometimes did not know their reasons but it suits me well. I am not affected. I just let them be pissed because they won’t get rid of me. Just like how I feel towards them.
I am pissed-off and so are they. I think it is a bit fair, isn’t it?
Nice meeting you.