If you’re a man, what are the heights of a successful courtship? What is the basis in finding the perfect relationship? How can we know that the days we built with our so-called “loved one” will last long? Did you know that all those questions can be answered by looking back from the beginning, the courtship stage? To understand this matter better, let’s define the Courtship and how it will affect throughout the course of your relationship with your partner.
Courtship is a behavior designed to persuade someone to develop a romantic relationship –that is only what most dictionaries will tell you. But if you ask a person, courtship is an activity involving series of sacrifices, sincere efforts, being the one he/she is looking for, and giving cuddly gifts to another person in result of love. Wait; did I just said “love”? Don’t get confused, my friend, there are 2 general ways of love: one, is an intense affection; and two, is a feeling of deep romantic or sexual attachment –regardless of gender, object, activity, and could be in form of worship. Did you get it? Its okay if you don’t. There are people who’s crying because they were hurt by the ones they love but they still love those people. “Love really is complicated” after all.
Let’s go back to the definition of courtship by giving cuddly gifts and the person he/she is looking for. That already explains that courting somebody is actually a push to move her feelings. “Push” is a vigorous effort to do or obtain something. This clearly explains that courting someone, whether he/she likes you or not, you will do vigorous efforts for him/her to like you. It’s no difference with manipulating him/her to be yours by doing things you don’t often do, which he/she likes just to get him/her. Do you get it now? If you love her and she likes you (vice versa) why do you have to court? If you’re a boy and she doesn’t like everything about you, why do you have to change your personality and become someone you don’t really are just to please her?
Remember, one of the key points in a strong relationship is sincerity. Sincerity is the quality of being free from pretense, deceit, hypocrisy, being honest, truthfulness, and trustworthiness. What’s the truthfulness of pretending to be a person he/she likes? The word “pretend” already go against the very meaning of “sincerity”. If the person you love doesn’t like you, you just have to deal with it and find someone who’s ready to accept you. Yes, especially girls, physical appearance gives 10 points to enhance his affection for you but this physical admiration is as fragile as when you’re wearing make-up (He loves you only when you’re wearing make-up).
How this courtship affects our behavior? The effect is very severe and can cause emotional trauma in the future. The “he/she will learn to love you in the future” chance is very low and could not even reach for two years if it successfully worked anyway. Besides, if adjusting yourself permanently worked for you, the same adjustment is rare to succeed with your partner. Loving someone who doesn’t love you back is really painful. The only reason why your loved-one suddenly breaks up with you in this situation is because in the future, the person you dear will realize that they just woke up being married with someone they don’t know.
My advice if you really love each other, courtship methods must occur when you’re both already in relationship, a week or 2 after you both agreed to be together. Here, courtship becomes a way to strengthen your bond together. But of course, think carefully before entering in a complicated moment of your life such as love.